I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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