this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
