i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
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