Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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