Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
