This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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