his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
