i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
