Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
