Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
