So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize