I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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