So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
