Whod you bang
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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