If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize