why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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