i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
