every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
