my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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