What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
