Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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