That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Panties = found
Randomize
