there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You left your phone here
Wait...
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