Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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