Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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