.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
