Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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