Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
