So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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