Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Found the puke drawer
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
