then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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