So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
