ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
