Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
