Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
