dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize