I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
