i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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