Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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