if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
