you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I love you.
Bad choice
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