Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
