You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
