i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
