Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
