no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
