Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
