They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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