That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
