i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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