this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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