Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
