Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
