i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
