wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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