For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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