Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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