i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
