this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
