so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
