operation harelip BJ is a go
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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